I used to write ‘The coffee was good’
Now I write: ‘The coffee was dark as motor oil, steam rising in lazy curls, the first sip bitter and rich on my tongue.’
Same coffee. Different words. The second one makes you TASTE it.
That’s the difference between telling and showing. It’s the power of showing vs telling.
Here’s the principle:
Your reader’s brain thinks in pictures, NOT abstract words. If you want someone to want what you’re selling.
you must make them SEE it
In their mind
As clearly as a movie scene
Robert Collier (one of history’s greatest copywriters) said it best: “One clear picture built up in the reader’s mind by your words is worth a thousand drawings”
The 5-sense formula:
Instead of telling what something IS, describe how it
looks, sounds, feels, smells, or tastes.
Weak (telling):
“The coffee was good.”
Strong (showing):
“The coffee was dark as motor oil, steam rising in lazy curls, the first sip bitter and rich on my tongue.”
Words that help:
See: glowing, gleaming, shadowy, cracked, smooth
Hear: crackling, whispered, roared, rustling
Feel: rough, silky, sticky, feather-light
Smell: sharp, earthy, acrid, floral
Taste: bitter, tangy, metallic, creamy
Real word examples.
Volkswagen Beetle ad(1960)
They never said a car is small, instead they painted a picture your brain can see.
They showed a tiny VW in the corner of a massive white page. Two words: “Think small.”
The empty space made you FEEL smallness. Result? One of the most iconic ad campaigns ever.
apple ipod (2001)
They didn’t list storage specs. They gave you a visual
They didn’t say “5GB storage capacity.”
They said “1,000 songs in your pocket.”
Instantly, you picture yourself walking with your entire music library. That’s desire.
The mistake most writers make:
They TELL instead of SHOW.
“Our product is high-quality” ←Nobody cares
“Butter-soft leather, stitching tight as guitar strings” ← Now I want it
Your homework:
Take one sentence from your last post or email.
Rewrite it using one of the 5 senses (see, hear, feel, smell, taste).
Before: “The product is great.”
After: “The leather is butter-soft, the stitching tight as guitar strings.”
Post your before/after and tag me. I’ll give feedback to the first 10.
Keep writing
See you soon
— Parth
P.S. Next week The headline formula.